Focus on the Positive, Not the Negative

Today has been a good day. I was able to cut material for the quilts Mom is making for us out of our old clothes and some scraps I am hoping to use. After that I went and rested and then was able to go to Yogurtland for the first time with Rita (my caregiver). It was AWESOME!!!!! I thought it would be yogurt like Yoplait. I was pleasantly surprised to find it looked and tasted like ice cream! I enjoyed choosing the different toppings (I had cheesecake, white chocolate chips, Reese peanut butter cups, and chocolate chip cookie dough bites). It was only $3.91 for almost 11 ounces so I was very happy!!!!! Also, it wasn't as many points as ice cream. Yea!

What do you do when someone looks at you funny because you aren't the same as them? Do you stare back or just ignore them? I went to the thrift store yesterday when I wasn't doing well. It was rough and I had to wear my earphones. Usually people don't bother me very much, but this particular day I couldn't talk very well so I was using a lot of sign language and hand motions. One lady in particular kept staring at me. I don't know if she was curious or just rude. It was very disconcerting.

You'd think I'd be used to people by now. Due to my illness I have a service dog, Charlie. He is a huge blessing. I become paralyzed and he will try to get me to move by licking my hand and stuff. He is able to go with me almost everywhere. The only places that are not required to let service dogs in (that I have found) are churches and small bed & breakfasts. I usually take him with me when I'm not doing good so the stores I frequent are used to seeing him with me. He sits in a cart (because he is so little and I need to be able to touch him) and is very good.

I like taking Charlie with me places because he takes the attention away from me. :) People tend to focus more on the fact that there is a dog in the store than on the person with the dog. A lot of times my face will contort or droop and it appears I have had a stroke. It's annoying and very embarrassing. Having Charlie with me helps me keep focused on him and keeping calm so my brain doesn't have problems.

ME is a neurological disease. It is not commonly known in the United States as ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis), but rather is known as CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). When we mentioned ME to my new doctor, he did not know what it was until we mentioned CFS. There are people trying to get ME recognized in the US for what it is: entirely different from CFS. ME is very debilitating and has a lot of strange and rough symptoms. One moment I can be doing pretty well and able to go to the store or something, the next moment I can pass out, fall, or be bed bound for hours. You learn to live with it and enjoy the moments you have to the fullest.

When your life falls apart you must learn to live in a different way and never give up hope. Because if you lose hope, you will no longer feel like living and will be more susceptible to depression and despair. Always look for the bright side of things. Focus on the good. What you focus on will decide your overall mental well being. If you choose to dwell on how hard things are, you will have a difficult time with everything. If you choose to focus on good things, in spite of the bad, you will learn to enjoy the moments and look forward to finding the good.

It's not easy to always focus on the good. You have to purposefully choose to do it. It's a matter of choice. Some days will be easier than others. That's a fact of life. There is no way around it. It helps to watch a funny movie, read cartoons, or do something different that will make you smile. You have to learn to change your focus and not dwell on the negative.

Some days I get tired and have a hard time doing anything and it is difficult even to smile. Those types of days I try to take it easy, both physically & mentally. I have to remember that I cannot expect to do everything I once did and now I must pace myself to do what I really want to accomplish. It is hard because I was a go getter person and have had to scale down a lot. I went from about 90% to about 5% activity wise. I worked a full time job and was very active in attending a second college (I had already graduated from one) when I became sick. I am now legally disabled and unable to work. It has been very humiliating to depend on others for my livelihood and very difficult, but I've learned to not focus on the negatives of being sick, but to look for the positives that are a result of being ill – no matter how small or inconsequential they may appear.

The Positives:

1. I'm able to spend more time with my family
2. I'm able to empathize with people because I've been there, done that
3. I have met people who I would have never met if I wasn't sick. I have been able to show them the love of God simply by being there.
4. I have Charlie, my dog (he was a stray that my Dad told my Mom I really needed! My doctor made him a service dog because he helped me so much.)
5. I have a someone who comes in to help me 5 days a week – a huge blessing!
6. I'm able to do things sometimes like go to the zoo, go see my Grandma, etc
7. I have an awesome family who take care of me
8. I can do crafts sometimes
9. I can write cards to friends and relatives
10. I can still eat chocolate! :)

There are many more positives, but this gives you the general idea. It might help if you make a list of the positives in your life like I did. Focus on the good; not the bad. It makes life easier and a lot more fun! 

This blog is to help me... :P  Living with a disability is often very difficult and stressful, so it helps to write things down and be able to focus on the memories that we are making on this journey of life.  


I was diagnosed with a movement disorder in 2010.  Since then my health has gradually gotten worse.  This has been very difficult on me because I used to be a relatively healthy & busy person.  Through the trauma, though, has come the rewards of making lasting memories.  


Because of my health, (and my sister, Jasmine's, who appears to have the same thing), my family & I must pick and choose our activities wisely and carefully.  Some days I do pretty well and can go to the store or even to the zoo (in a wheelchair). Other days I'm in bed most of the day with the lights off.  


 I have learned to make memories while I can. Every holiday and birthday is treated as though it were my last one - because it very well could be.  This is true for everyone.  We are not promised tomorrow.  If you treat every day as your last, you will be able to live it to its fullest.  Forgive quickly. Say "I love you" more often. Hug your Mom.  Don't wait until life gets rough.  Do it now.